Valentine

This isn't about any of the three people known as Saint Valentine. This is about my wife.

On St. Valentine's Day four years ago I was sitting in a restaurant with a woman I knew I was going to break up with. There were several reasons for the soon-to-occur break up. One of them was that 8 days before this dinner, I had become aware of the woman to whom I am currently married.

Don't Let the Perfect be the Enemy of the Good.
After a long time of dating a lot of women (over 100 in a 2 year period) and not finding "The One" I had pretty much decided to settle for less than perfect. She was nice - an accountant, about 11 years younger than me. And I had pretty much decided that I would settle. She was good. Except, I was still looking for perfect.

Happily Ever After
When I tell my little boy stories they always start the same way - Once upon a time. Not today. Not yesterday. But a long long time ago.... And they always end the same way - And they lived happily ever after. The 1990's were bitter years. It was like I was in some kind of surreal fairy tale wherein the wolf was after me but I kept running in reverse, from the brick house, to the stick house, to the straw house. My sister thinks I had some kind of death wish. I don't think that was true, but I was very unhappy. Oh, I knew how to have a good time. I was quite a bon vivant. A good-time charley. It is amazing how much fun you can have when you are desperately trying to keep dispair from breking down your door. "Happily ever after"? No, the "ever after" I was accustomed two was starting my day off with a cup of gin, the smell of old cigar smoke in my hair, and most terribly, aloneness and purposelessness.

But then a woman walked into my life in the most strange way. Amazingly, she was the perfect I had been looking for and not finding. It wasn't easy. I'd been living for myself for so long that it was a struggle to live for her. But as I learn to do that, I see that "happily ever after" is here right now.

Four years ago on this day, Athanasia and I had not actually met. But already she was having an impact on my life. We would meet a few weeks later, and marry 6 weeks after that. I cant even begin to tell you how happy I am that I didn't settle for good, but stumbled across perfect.