Saturday, April 28, 2012

Depression

I've been diagnosed with depression.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I won't list all my symptoms, but they are the typical collection of indicators. My wife has been trying to get me to see a psychatrist for over a year.  It is strange to think of the way I feel as a disease.  To me, it really seems more like sin.  Sin of ingrattitude.  Sin of selfishness.  Sin of faithlessness.  But, I suppose, it might be a disease.  After all, the Church teaches that sin is a disease more than it is an infraction of the law.  I think, if I could just see Jesus I might be alright.  Since his resurrection he is always telling people to be at peace to be not afraid.  He even offered his wounds to Thomas to get him to calm down.  He ate some fish with some of his disciples to help them see who he is.  Probably, his mother was the only one he didn't need to re-assure, as she was already full of grace.  I need to be full of grace.

7 comments:

s-p said...

God bless you for seeing someone. I've wrestled with it for decades. You've given me a kick in the pants to seriously consider seeing someone again. Thank you.

DebD said...

I totally get what you are saying as they're all things that cross my mind too. Often, life is not easy.

Unknown said...

Perhaps being diagnosed with depression has left you feeling depressed ;-)

Rebecca said...

Dan's mom suffered from depression and was miserable and made everyone around her miserable for many years. She would never consider meds because she saw that as a lack of faith. When she had her stroke and Drs and Nurses were making the decisions about her meds they put her on anti depression and anxiety meds and it was like a miracle. She became this incredibly positive and loving person that we had not seen for years. Meds and treatment for mental issues and chemical imbalances are no different than a diabetic taking their insulin. Love you.

GretchenJoanna said...

I've heard it said that depression is an affliction. Of course, we need grace to overcome those, too. I will be praying for you.

Mimi said...

I have struggled with Depression for about ten years, and have really learned that part of my care for the illness (and it is an illness, just like diabetes or pneumonia, both of which I'd encourage you to treat as well) is to take medications. Another part is to exercise regularly, to pay attention to my needs, and to eat well.

Prayers, I totally get what you are saying, it feels like a failure on our part. That's part of the illness, honestly. However, there are also elements of it that I bring to confession as well.

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

Matt, sending hugs and prayers winging across the ocean to you and your family.

Mimi is *totally* right about the necessity for you to be attentive to your physical and mental needs at this time, and to take care of your spiritual needs too.