Air Conditioners

I hate them. I mean, I really hate them. (Hey, I lived in south Florida and know all about Statuary Hall, so I can say this.)

Top 10 Reasons Why I hate Air Conditioning:
10. Nothing says "I'm a wimp who can't handle the outdoors" like sitting in front of the air conditioner on a gorgeous summer day.
9. Air conditioning kills our reptile friends.
8. Two words: Legoinnaires Disease.
7. When the air inside a closed area is cooled by an air conditioner, the air outside the air conditioned area is heated. (It's science.) This means that if I want to use an air conditioner to cool my house I have to make everyone outside my house a little hotter. That is very selfish.
6. Energy-efficient air conditioning (Oxymoron?) requires that office building windows do not open. This leads to disease and death!
5. Air-conditioners suck up electricity, resulting in electricity shortages on hot days.
4. Air-conditiners are one leg of a technological triumvirate of cultural degredation.
3. People have lived on this planet for 6,000 years. And the vast majority of them did it without air conditioning. Yet many people act like air-conditioning is a God-given right. It isn't.
2. Air conditioners = noise pollution.
1. One of my tenants installed a window air-conditioner today. I explained to her that they are not allowed. She told me she looked in the lease and the lease doesn’t say anything about air conditioners. I explained that I do not allow window mounted air conditioners for aestetic reasons (What next? Cars up on blocks in the carports?) and that modifications to apartments can not be made without my written permission. She said, “Well, they were allowed before you were the manager.” I said, “Yes, they were. They are not allowed now.” (We also had a 50% vacancy rate before Cyndi and I took over the management or the property. We currently have zero vacancies, and a major reason for that success is the appearance of the property.) She said, “But I have a heart condition and have to be kept cool. I can give you a letter from my doctor.” I didn't say anything to that but thought, "What a I, your second grade teacher? I don't want a letter from your doctor. Besides, if you have a heart condition, lose 300 lbs. You'll be amazed what that does for your heart." This situation has not been resolved and her air conditioner is installed. I emailed my boss to get her advice on how to deal with the situation. Not six hours after the air conditioner was installed another tenant asked me if the rule about air conditioners has been changed. I can feel this situation spiriling out of control and I see a court room in my future. I really hate air conditioners.

And besides all of this, Islam is evil.