Thursday, February 13, 2014

Avoiding Depression

Well, I lost my job back on January 3 (The firm I was working for lost the client. The whole east bay office shut down.) and have been looking for a job since then.  I've had a couple of interviews but nothing has come from them.  It is very discouraging.  I think to myself, "Do I have to live like this for the next 20 years? Am I ever going to get a job?  Am I ever going to get a job that is enough to live on and pay for a place to live?" That last part is the hard part here in Silicon Valley, where the average apartment rent is over $2,000 per month.

Let's say I get a full time job at $10 per hour. (Not that anyone is offering me one of those, but one can hope.)

That's $400 per week. Which is about $1,680 per month.
Take out about 20% for payroll and income tax.
Take out 25% for child support.
Take out car insurance and car payment.
That leaves $604 per month but the least expensive apartment in Silicon Valley right now is a 180sq.ft. studio in Alviso for $750 per month.  That leaves a $146 deficit before I even buy food and gasoline.

Thankfully, my sister and her husband are letting me live with them since the week before Thanksgiving and have made it clear that I can stay as long as I need to but, gosh, I'm 45 years old, a college graduate, and a father of two little boys.  I have to do better than that.  I just don't have any idea how. 

I found out about a school district that needs substitute teachers so I am putting together an application packet for that (waiting on transcripts) but even if they use me every day of the school year that is only $500 per week during the school year.

But the worst thing, from a despair point of view, is applying for a bunch of jobs everyday.  I apply but have no hope.  It can imagine the men who jumped out of trenches and ran across no-mans-land in WWI felt like this.  You do it because you have to do it, not because it is going to achieve anything. I can tell that depression is coming back because I just want to sleep all the time.  So, to combat that I made a list of fun things I want to do this year.  I've already done some of them.

14 Fun Things to do in 2014

1) attend the SJ Giants home opener on April 10
2) hike the entire Ridge Trail - 1/4 COMPLETE 
4) make cinnamon rolls from scratch
5) climb Mission Peak - DONE (and I was sore for days!)

6) drink a bottle from each winery in the county
7) go to the Reno air races
8) read the Gapes of Wrath 
9) attend the Pascha service at the SF cathedral 
10) learn how to make cheese
11) spend a day at Raging Waters
12) take my bag limit of Spring turkeys
13) learn the Mambo
14) get the ring in the clown's mouth at the Santa Cruz boardwalk carousel

And, maybe, while I am doing all of this, someone will offer me a job that pays enough to live on.


DebD said...

Great photo Matt. So sorry things are not going your way on so many levels. I love your list though. Hope you'll blog about each one as you do them.

Steve Robinson said...

Tough stuff... I wish I could do more than just say "prayers". Thank God for family.