Monday, June 14, 2010


One thing I have encountered lately is having to deal with someone who hates me. There is no escaping having to deal with this person. It is a matter of duty, surely, but also of love. It is difficult but, I know, others have had to deal with similar circumstances. Anyway, one thing that amazes me is this persons belief that I think I am perfect. Far far from it.

One of the reasons I became Orthodox is because my lack of perfection. The odiousness of my many sins was too much for me to bear. I needed, and still need, constant rescue. Every day, morning and evening, Orthodox Christians acknowledge our multitudinous failings and ask for Divine help in doing better. All day long we pray "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." Several times a day I need to stop everything I am doing and say...

"Lord our God, good and merciful, I acknowledge all my sins which I have committed every day of my life, in thought, word and deed; in body and soul alike. I am heartily sorry that I have ever offended thee, and I sincerely repent; with tears I humbly pray thee, O Lord: of thy mercy forgive me all my past transgressions and absolve me from them. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy Grace, to amend my way of life and to sin no more; that I may walk in the way of the righteous and offer praise and glory to the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."

It seems like the older I get I remember more and more of my errors and transgressions from the past. I do not think I am perfect. I don't even think I am a relatively good man. Embarassingly enough, I know many pagans who are more virtuous than I am. But this person thinks I am arrogant in my supposed perfection, and it is an obstacle in our necessary relationship. I wish I knew what to do about it.

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