Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Another Day


I had today off.  The boys didn't have school.  Athanasia left the car for me.  WOOO HOOOO! 
The boys and I went to the bagle store up the road and had our traditional breakfast (we haven't had it in months because of my job), read the comics to each other, and talked about the rain.  We also talked about the urge for gun control with a San Jose policeman.  He assured us that he would never obey orders that infringe on the rights of Americans to bear arms, inclundings those the California Legislature is trying to ban.

(I can't believe I'll be divorced on the 22nd of this month.)

After bagels we went by my work so I could return a credit card.  While we were there I let the boys check out the extreme sports - you know, snow boarding obstacle courses, cliff body diving, etc. - on the jumbotron in the lobby.  Then I took them through the car wash (a perk of my job is free car washes.)  They are stil young enough to enjoy being in the car as it goes through the car wash.

(Something is very very wrong.  I am going to be divorced on the 22nd of this month.)

Then we went to Japan Town, where we walked around, peeked into shops,  and looked at the monuments.  After we had been there for a while it started to rain, so we ran back to the car and headed to the MLJK library.

(O, God! What is going on? How can my marriage be ending in just a few more days?)

Basil took all the escalators to the top and back down to the 2nd floor where Anselm (he likes to be called Sam, now) was discovering that scholarly papers had been written about Minecraft.  The librarian helped Anselm find the article in an Australian science education journal, and had a pdf sent to Anselm's email address. (He has an email address?)  It is so weird to me that my "little boy" is already looking at scholarly journals.  It's neat, but I still think of him as my little boy who just yesterday was hunting for snails and worms after the rain.

After the Library (we checked out some books) we went to Mel Cottons where the boys were fitted for .22 rifles and I picked up a 2013 Dept. of Fish and Wildlife guide.  I saw an ad in the guide that said they are looking for game wardens.  I think I'll apply.

(I only met her a few days ago.  How is she throwing me away like this, like so much garbage?  I love her!)

Then we went to the gocery store and I bought the stuff we needed to make peanut butter milk shakes. (They were my Dad's favorite.)   When we got home from the market I made the milkshakes and hambrugers for the boys, like the hamburgers my Mammy used to make for me when I was a boy.

(How can there be even more loss?  Must I say good bye to more people?  I'll never remarry. Two divorces are enough heartbreak for any man.  Oh, my children!  God!  What about my children?)

We read books, we did the dishes, we played cards, we took a nap.  I made them dinner.  Athanasia came home and the teperature dropped to zero.

God, please, do not make me live to three score and ten.  Let me fly away.

7 comments:

GretchenJoanna said...

Can you give me the recipe for the peanut butter shakes?
May the Lord have mercy on your family.

Mimi said...

Lord have Mercy, prayers continue.

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

My heart aches for you and the boys.....having been through the depths of despair myself in the same situation, I remember how insane it seemed that other people were carrying on with their lives when my world was falling apart around me, against my will and totally outside my control.
God bless and keep you.

DebD said...

My heart aches for you and your boys too. I think of you often and pray. I'm sorry this has happened to you all.

Athanasia said...

Matt, it has been sometime since I've checked in on your blog. I am so sorry to read about the divorce which was finalized yesterday according to this post. My heart breaks for you, Athanasia, and the boys.

All I can offer are my poor prayers, such as they may be.

How well I understand the depth of despair. Hang in there. May our Holy Mother comfort you as mothers do.

James the Thickheaded said...

My prayers for you and your family. May the mercy of our Lord through the most tender prayers of our Holy Theotokos offer you protection from the despair that stalks you, for "...even in Sheol, Thou art there." Have courage, for God is with you.

s-p said...

Hey Matt, blog checking has been sparse lately... but I'm sorry for your loss and glad for your continued dedication to your kiddos. I know all too well that you never really have an "ex" when you share kids, you just have to be careful that you don't drag them into your angst. May you find peace.