Friday, July 27, 2012

Cub Scout Skits

I have applied for many jobs over the last few weeks and have had a few interviews.  I still don't have a job.  However, I have been keeping busy by volunteering at Cub Scout camps.  I taught knots and leather work one week.  Another week I was the archery range master.  Next week I'll be range master again.  All the camps in out council have a safari theme this year.  So, for next weeks camp I wrote or modified some skits to fit the theme.  Here they are.

The Old Explorers Club

Narrator: Many years after their last Safari the old explorers sat in the padded leather arm chairs of their London club house, trying to figure out the best way to spell a word.

Old Explorer 1:  I think it’s w-o-o-m.

Old Explorer 2:  No, no I think it’s more like w-h-o-o-m.

Waiter: Freshen your drinks, sir?

Old explorer 1: Oh, yes.  Very good, dear waiter.  Very good. 

(waiter acts like he is pouring something into their glasses.)

Old Explorer 3: I don’t know.  I think w-o-o-m sounds right.

Old Explorer 4:  I have to disagree with you all.  I am sure it is more like h-w-o-o-m-h!

Waiter: Pardon me, sirs, it is w-o-m-b, womb.

(Waiter walks off.  Explorers all look surprised to have been corrected by the waiter.)

Old Explorer 3:  You know, chaps, I don’t think that waiter has ever even been in an elephant’s wind.  It’s WHOOM!!!  (shout last word.)

Narrator:  The Old Safari Guide leads two hunters into the jungle.

(The three walk in place, pretending to walk through jungle vegetation.)

1st Hunter: Are there wild animals here?

Safari Guide: Yep. Tigers. They’re bad.

2nd Hunter: Is there anything else?

Safari Guide: There’s wart hogs. Mean critters.

1st Hunter: Is that all?

Safari Guide: Nope.  There’s black mombas and gorillas and lions and …
 (Suddenly, three Wolf Cub Scouts jump out at the hunters and say…)
Cub Scouts: We are wolves! Who are you?
Hunters: (together) We’re chickens! (and they run away.)

The Jungle at Night
Narrator:  The sun was setting over the river and the jungle’s night time creatures were beginning to wake up.

Group 1 chants "Tomatoes" over & over again, real slow but loud enough to hear. 

Narrator:  And more creatures joined the song.

Group 2 chants "Hot potato" over & over again real fast, (loud enough to hear) 

Narrator: An explorer comes to the river and wonders aloud, “how deep is this water?”

Group 3 is chants "SO DEEP" in their deepest bass voices.

They all keep this up for awhile and the Narraor says: "Ah, I love the sound of a jungle at night."

Attack of the Zulus
Narrator: Bob and Billy went on safairi in Botswana. When it came time to go to sleep, they realized there was only one small tent. One of them would have to sleep outside.

(Bob and Billy start arguing silently with hand motions)

Narrator: But after the feud, Billy got to sleep in the tent, and Bob slept on the cold, hard, ground.

(Billy pretends to get into a tent while Bob curls up on the ground).

Narrator: All was fine until...THE ZULU SHOE THIEVES ATTACKED!!!

(Zulus run up screaming and take Bob’s shoe and run away.)

Bob: Billy Wake up!  Wake up!  The Zulus stole my shoe!

Billy: Well there is nothing we can do about it now.  I’ll help you find your shoe in the morning.  Just go back to sleep.

Narrator: So Billy and Bob went back to sleep.

(Bill and Bob go back to sleep)

Narrator: But no sooner than they had falled asleep under the star-lit African sky than the ZULU SHOE THIEVES RETURNED!!!

(Zulus come screaming to the tent and run off with Billy’s other shoe.)

Narrator: And they absconded with Billy’s other shoe!

Billy: Bob!  Wake up!  They came back and took my other shoe!

Bob:  I’ll tell you what.  Why don’t you sleep in the tent so they won’t bother you any more. 

Billy:  Gee, thanks, Bob.  That’s really good of you.

(Billy and Bob trade places and go back to sleep.)

Narrator:  But the ZULUS WERE NOT SLEEPING!!!

(Zulus sneak up the tent.)

Zulu Chief:  Wait, we already got the one on the outside.  Now lets get the one on the inside!

(Zulus tear up the tent and chase Billy away.  Everyone screams and runs.)

Lion in the Camp
Narrator: The great Cape Buffalo hunters and their safari guide came back to camp after a long exhausting day of hunting.  As they were sitting by the fire enjoying a cup of tea the Safari Guide ran up to them and said…

Safari Guide: Sirs! There is a lion in the camp!

Hunter 1: Oh no! I missed so many shots today I am out of bullets!

Hunter 2: Oh no! A cape buffalo stepped on my rifle today and broke it!

Hunter 3:  Oh no! It’s dark now and I don’t even know where to aim!

Hunter 4:  Porter, give me my tennis shoes! Quick!

Porter: Sir, here are your tennis shoes, but why?  Surely you can not run faster than the lion!

(all other hunters laugh at hunter 4)

Hunter 4: No, but I don’t have to. I only have to run faster than one of you!

Clean Water
Narrator: The rivers in Africa are infested with the larvae of guinea worms so health-conscious explorers always are careful about conserving water while on safari.   These scouts are now going to demonstrate one way to conserve water while brushing your teeth on safari.

Step 1. all scouts start brushing teeth with finger. 
Step 2. Narrator fills cup with water, “accidentally” spilling some of it so the audience sees that there is water in it.  Step 3. First scout pretends to take a drink, makes a big show of rinsing mouth. 
Step 4. Pretend to transfer water to ear of next scout.
Step 5. Second scout pretends to rinse mouth and then transfers water to ear of next scout.  Use as many scouts as there are in the den.
Step 6. Last scout, who has secretly had a mouth full of water the whole time, spits the water out on the ground.

The Brave Wildlife Photographer
MC: Scouts, Parents, and Guests - welcome. We have with us today a very special Cub Scout. Billy, please come up here. This young wild life photographer has proven his bravery through trials and challenges most of us would never dream of, let alone live through.
Billy is afraid of nothing! He has canoed up the Orinoco River during the flood season, camped out alone in the Sarengheti, and even kissed a girl once!

MC: I'm sure some of you probably don't believe anyone could be so brave so I've rounded up some of the most savage beasts that have ever walked the face of the earth. They will do their best to scare Billy.  Billy will demonstrate his bravery for you.

MC: Here comes Hyena - a blood-thirsty fiend from Kenya!
(Hyena trots up to Billy and growls. Just as he is about to attack Billy….)
(Billy smiles and shakes his hand.)
(Hyena dejectedly sits down and whines.)
MC: And now, a savage Lion from Tanzania - a ferocious beast of the night!
(Lion charges in, growling and clawing the air.)
(Billy grabs the lions paw and shakes hands.)
(Lion whimpers away behind Billy as a troop of bloodthirsty Baboons comes in.)
MC: Baboons! The long-fanged meat-eating ape from Egypt!
(Baboons hop around snarling and screaming at billy.)
(Billy walks up to them and pets them on their heads.)
MC: As you can see, Billy is not afraid of any of these murderous creatures, but treats all of them as friends
And, to recognize Billy's bravery, our leader will now present him with a small trophy. Good job, Billy!

(Billy needs to keep looking out at the audience and smiling. As the leader gets close to him and holds out the trophy, Billy turns from the audience to look at him. Then with a terrified look on his face he runs away from the screaming. All the animals and MC also run away yelling, screaming, as they leave the stage.)


s-p said...

Ah, those were the days... not much has changed in 50 years. Nice touches on old themes.

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

I loved these, Matt ! I wish I could go to your Cub Scout group !