Grease

In 1978, when I was in the 4th grade at Sunnyvale Christian School (Or maybe I was in the 2nd grade.  I am not sure.  Things get blurry the older I get.) I saw the movie Grease.  It seems to have to set me on a path I wish I had never set foot on.  From that point on having a girlfriend was the most important thing ever.  Because of my youthfulness, I didn't catch all the sexual innuendos, I didn't understand that two of the characters had sex, that there was a pregnancy scare, etc.  But I did understand that Danny and Sandy belonged together at that that was the best thing in the world.  And that idea was reinforced by watching TV shows such as The Love Boat and Fantasy Island.

A Roman priest once told me that pornography isn't sinful because it shows to much but because it shows to little.  It doesn't show two people struggling to make ends meet, taking care of one another through times of sickness, raising children, forgiving each other for the sake of a marriage and children.  It just shows sex, the smallest part of a marriage.  I think, it is the case that movies such as Grease and teevee shows such as The Love Boat and Fantasy Island are bad in a similar way. or at least, they are misleading.  They show only the beginning of a love affair, but not the long hard slog of true love.

I think it was 1998 when Grease had a second cinematical release 20 years after the first release.   That time, instead of a bunch of kids in the audience it was me and 200 women my age who sang along with every song.  Oddly, I knew the songs, too though it had been 20 years since I had last seen the film.  Later, I thought, why were all these women in that room singing songs such as "Beauty School Drop Out" and "There are Worse Things" with such emotion?    And I was sad for them.  What disappointments had the 20 years between '78 and '98 had for them?

About a year ago my son, Anselm Samuel ran the spotlights for his middle school production of Grease.  The script for middle school productions is scrubbed pretty clean.  Its really all about the singing and dancing.  But even in that production there was a sadness buried that, i think, only the adults in the audience were aware of.

Since my divorce a couple of years ago four different women have asked me to marry them.  It was pretty easy to say say no to each of them.  Why was it so easy?  I think it is because I no longer think, as Grease portrayed, that romantic love is the end all be all of human life.  In fact, now I think it is barely tolerable, and is more of a hurdle to overcome on the way to true friendship.