I started a new job on May 28. I work in the member services department of the YMCA. I like it very much. It isn't a lot of money but it is more than I was making when I had no job. Also, the boys come to the Y while I am working and go swimming, and when I get off work we play racquet ball. That is probably the best part of my job.
The clutch on my car burned out going up "The Hill" in late June. Basil and I were stranded on Hwy 17. The CHP pushed us to the next exit. My brother Ken gave me money to have my car carried on a flatbed back to Sunnyvale. But I haven't had the money to get the car fixed. It has been parked at the curb in front of my sisters house for a month. I've been taking the bus back and forth to work from my sister's house.
A couple of days ago I learned that the lawyer (paid for by taxes) who represents my children issued an order that requires me to buy health insurance for my children even though Athanasia makes 3 times what I make and gets health insurance provided to the boys at minimal cost as a benefit of her job. This leaves me, after child-support and taxes, with a little more than $400 per month. Obviously, I can't afford my car anymore; not the insurance, nor the payment, nor the taxes due in August, nor the repairs. I'm going to call the bank and ask them to come and repossess it. I'm also going to cancel my own health, dental, and optometric insurance. Just canceling all the insurance will save me almost $300 per month.
What else can happen to me? I suppose raiders from the desert might kill my children. I suppose I could erupt in boils.
Well, long term we all die, but in the short term I don't know what I'm going to do. What is the point of even having a job if I don't make enough money to live? Life hardly seems worth living. I wonder if God has forgotten me. Its not like I even want a lot. Is a couple of acres and an apple tree and a grape vine too much to hope for?
Jesus said consider the lilies. They don't toil or spin but are arrayed in glory. I don't know what he was talking about. Lilies live a few days then die. But we have to live to be about 70. I wish he would just kill me now and get it over with. I do not want to wait another 25 years for my rest.
2 hours ago