Progress

This week my sons Basil and Anselm had off from school.  So we spent every day together.  We went to we played games, went to the snow, went to museums, and cooked together.  We even did something that I put on my list of things to do in 2014:  Made cinnamon rolls from scratch. I liked the recipe.  It was easy and the cinnamon rolls tasted good.  The only thing I didn't like is that they turned out too fluffy.  I don't know if that was the fault of the baker or the recipe, though.












14 Fun Things to do in 2014

1) attend the SJ Giants home opener on April 10

2) hike the entire Ridge Trail - 1/4 COMPLETE 

3) soak in a secluded natural hot spring

4) make cinnamon rolls from scratch (DONE)

5) climb Mission Peak - DONE (and I was sore for days!)

6) drink a bottle from each winery in the county

7) go to the Reno air races

8) read the Gapes of Wrath 

9) attend the Pascha service at the SF cathedral 

10) learn how to make cheese

11) spend a day at Raging Waters

12) take my bag limit of Spring turkeys

13) learn the Mambo

14) get the ring in the clown's mouth at the Santa Cruz boardwalk carousel

A barrier to understanding

A couple of days ago I put a picture of the relics of the Roman priest-martyr Valentine on my Facebook page.  I was surprised by the reaction.  An argument began between my Orthodox friends and my Protestant friends. They seemed to be talking past one another.  Each completely misunderstanding what the other was saying.  The Protestants accusing the Orthodox of clericalism and idolatry and the Orthodox accusing the Protestants of denying the resurrection. But underlying all of those specific disagreements is, I think, a greater and more fundamental issue: 


The immanence of the eschaton.   Orthodox believe it.  Protestants don't.  Without that basic belief nothing Orthodox do or say makes sense to Protestants.  Veneration of saints, the real presence of Jesus in the chalice, the blessings of water, candles, fruit, etc., all depend on the real (e.g. real) overlapping of the Kingdom of God with our everyday lives.  During the Divine Liturgy when the Orthodox say we remember the second coming of the Lord we can only say it because in God, where we are, time is meaningless.  It is just a temporary state, at the most.  But the things of the Church, because the Church is in God, are timeless.  Jesus dying on Calvary was the appearance in time of something that always happens, because Jesus was slain before there was time.  Likewise, the relics of saints are venerated because they are already resurrected, and Jesus is present in the Chalice because he is always being sacrificed, and water can be Holy because Jesus is baptized.  The eschaton is present and barely hidden, like a table top under a thin layer of dust.  Just wipe away some of that dust and we see much more than a table, we see the fire of God.

Avoiding Depression

Well, I lost my job back on January 3 (The firm I was working for lost the client. The whole east bay office shut down.) and have been looking for a job since then.  I've had a couple of interviews but nothing has come from them.  It is very discouraging.  I think to myself, "Do I have to live like this for the next 20 years? Am I ever going to get a job?  Am I ever going to get a job that is enough to live on and pay for a place to live?" That last part is the hard part here in Silicon Valley, where the average apartment rent is over $2,000 per month.

Let's say I get a full time job at $10 per hour. (Not that anyone is offering me one of those, but one can hope.)

That's $400 per week. Which is about $1,680 per month.

Take out about 20% for payroll and income tax.

Take out 25% for child support.

Take out car insurance and car payment.

That leaves $604 per month but the least expensive apartment in Silicon Valley right now is a 180sq.ft. studio in Alviso for $750 per month.  That leaves a $146 deficit before I even buy food and gasoline.

Thankfully, my sister and her husband are letting me live with them since the week before Thanksgiving and have made it clear that I can stay as long as I need to but, gosh, I'm 45 years old, a college graduate, and a father of two little boys.  I have to do better than that.  I just don't have any idea how. 

I found out about a school district that needs substitute teachers so I am putting together an application packet for that (waiting on transcripts) but even if they use me every day of the school year that is only $500 per week during the school year.

But the worst thing, from a despair point of view, is applying for a bunch of jobs everyday.  I apply but have no hope.  It can imagine the men who jumped out of trenches and ran across no-mans-land in WWI felt like this.  You do it because you have to do it, not because it is going to achieve anything. I can tell that depression is coming back because I just want to sleep all the time.  So, to combat that I made a list of fun things I want to do this year.  I've already done some of them.

14 Fun Things to do in 2014

1) attend the SJ Giants home opener on April 10

2) hike the entire Ridge Trail - 1/4 COMPLETE 

3) soak in a secluded natural hot spring

4) make cinnamon rolls from scratch

5) climb Mission Peak - DONE (and I was sore for days!)

6) drink a bottle from each winery in the county

7) go to the Reno air races

8) read the Gapes of Wrath 

9) attend the Pascha service at the SF cathedral 

10) learn how to make cheese

11) spend a day at Raging Waters

12) take my bag limit of Spring turkeys

13) learn the Mambo

14) get the ring in the clown's mouth at the Santa Cruz boardwalk carousel

And, maybe, while I am doing all of this, someone will offer me a job that pays enough to live on.