13 hours ago
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Gasoline
We have watched as our gasoline bill has increased from about $100 per month to about $400 per month. Additionally, there is the car payment, insurance, and maintenance. It now makes financial since for us to sell the car and move back to San Francisco. We will have to pay higher rent but in San Francisco we can live a car-free life. The only obstacle is a job in San Francisco. On Wednesday my wife has her third interview at UCSF. If you have an opportunity to pray before now and tomorrow, please, remember Athanasia.
For my Protestant Friends
Been looking for that obscure 1851 English translation of the sermons preached by the curate in the reformed church in Brest in 1726 but haven't been able to find it? If this guy doesn't have it, no one has it.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Conservatism
The social and political operation of Christians is not based upon theorizing about what works best for the ordering of the world, but belief about what pleases the living God. The result is a way of thinking and acting that may or may not be agreeable to those whose understanding of the ordering of state and economy is based on a realistic appraisal of human nature coupled with an ideals of moderation and resistance to earthly utopias--that is, the classical tradition usually identified as “conservatism.” (Read the whole thing here)
Christ is Risen!
The Pascal services were very good. As our choir director said, it was the best Pascha ever. Samuel (age 6) served for much of it, and did a very good job. But near the end he was too sleepy, and one of the sub-deacons brought him to me. My wife had gone back to the hotel room earlier. It had been a long couple of days and physically, none of us were up to the Pachal event.
Athanasia had been at work or doing school work for the days prior to Saturday. I don't think she slept more than 6 hours any night during holy week. On Friday night she and the boys dyed eggs. On Saturday she had to be in class all day (8 to 5). She got to meet and talk with Assemblywoman Lieber.
The boys and I took a bus to the train station, the train to San Francisco, a bus from the train station to chinatown where we bought contraband firecrackers...
"Excuse me. Do you sell fire crackers?"
(The clerk said something in chinese to another clerk.
"Do you sell firecrackers?"
More chinse conversation followed by "We don't sell fire crakders. What do you want?"
"I'm looking for firecrackers. Do you know..."
"We don't sell fire crackers. Is this what you want?" and she retrieved from under the counter a pack of firecrackers.
"How much?"
"Five dollars. How many do you want?"
"One will do."
She quickly wrapped them up in a piece of newspaper and handed them to me.
Then we walked up to Molinari's where we bough a big salami to put into the Pascha Basket..
Then we walked through the Levy Tunnel (the tunnel that takes broadway from Northbeach under Russian Hill and into Pacific Heights. The boys really liked that. We played for a little while at the park at the west end of the tunnel. Then we walked up Polk Street (it is not the notorious homosexual neighborhood that it was in the 1960s and 1970s) and bought some orange juice at a local natural grocery store. From there we walked to the hotel in the Marina District. At the hotel we watched two Scooby Doo cartoons (a real treat for the boys, since we do not have a TV) and then took a nap. Athanasia arrived sometime between 7 and 8.
We go dressed and went to church, which was just around the corner from the hotel. It was super crowded. (I don't know how we are going to expand the building.) Basil was acting his age. Athanasia was super sleepy. They went back to the hotel just before the little entrance. After Communion (Bishop benjamin presided, but there were throee or four other priests with chalices, too. It was too crowded for me to be sure of the number.), I took Anselm (he now want to be called Samuel) back to the hotel.
Every year I hear something new in the Paschal service. It isn't new, of course, and I hear it every year, but my brain is not big enough or fast enough to absorb everything in one night. What stood out to me this time was the Fourth Ode of the Paschal Canon...
"T
One of my favorite things about Orthodoxy, is our consciousness of being one church with the all those who served God before us.
During the feast that followed I drank too much. Next year I will only drink beer and wine. I do not do a good job keeping track of how much I am drinking, especially when laughing and talking and singing. Misha, if you are reading this "NO MORE BRANDY!!! EVER!!!!" Thankfully, Reader Phillip got me safely to the hotel.
I was in no shape to go to Agape Vespers. We left the hotel about noon and drove (I slept) to Santa Cruz where we had lamb at Vasili's. Then we went to the beach where Samuel learned to ride a Boogie Board. Then we went home, took showers and went to bed.
The boys still have much Paschal joy this morning. They have been eating eggs, paskha-ish slop (Our paskha cheese failed this year. I bough a different brad of farmers cheese. I think that was the problem.) and chocolate all morning. Many shouts of Christ is Risen. Basil hugs me then falls on the floor laughing every time he yells it. I think next year, and until the boys are older, we are going to skip the Saturday night service and just go to Agape Vespers on Sunday. Well, the boys and I are going to the park now.
Crist Is Risen! Indeed He Is Risen!
Athanasia had been at work or doing school work for the days prior to Saturday. I don't think she slept more than 6 hours any night during holy week. On Friday night she and the boys dyed eggs. On Saturday she had to be in class all day (8 to 5). She got to meet and talk with Assemblywoman Lieber.
The boys and I took a bus to the train station, the train to San Francisco, a bus from the train station to chinatown where we bought contraband firecrackers...
"Excuse me. Do you sell fire crackers?"
(The clerk said something in chinese to another clerk.
"Do you sell firecrackers?"
More chinse conversation followed by "We don't sell fire crakders. What do you want?"
"I'm looking for firecrackers. Do you know..."
"We don't sell fire crackers. Is this what you want?" and she retrieved from under the counter a pack of firecrackers.
"How much?"
"Five dollars. How many do you want?"
"One will do."
She quickly wrapped them up in a piece of newspaper and handed them to me.
Then we walked up to Molinari's where we bough a big salami to put into the Pascha Basket..
Then we walked through the Levy Tunnel (the tunnel that takes broadway from Northbeach under Russian Hill and into Pacific Heights. The boys really liked that. We played for a little while at the park at the west end of the tunnel. Then we walked up Polk Street (it is not the notorious homosexual neighborhood that it was in the 1960s and 1970s) and bought some orange juice at a local natural grocery store. From there we walked to the hotel in the Marina District. At the hotel we watched two Scooby Doo cartoons (a real treat for the boys, since we do not have a TV) and then took a nap. Athanasia arrived sometime between 7 and 8.
We go dressed and went to church, which was just around the corner from the hotel. It was super crowded. (I don't know how we are going to expand the building.) Basil was acting his age. Athanasia was super sleepy. They went back to the hotel just before the little entrance. After Communion (Bishop benjamin presided, but there were throee or four other priests with chalices, too. It was too crowded for me to be sure of the number.), I took Anselm (he now want to be called Samuel) back to the hotel.
Every year I hear something new in the Paschal service. It isn't new, of course, and I hear it every year, but my brain is not big enough or fast enough to absorb everything in one night. What stood out to me this time was the Fourth Ode of the Paschal Canon...
"T
he inspired prophet Habakuk now stands with us in holy vigil, he is like a shining angel who cries with a piercing voice: Today salvation has come to the world for Christ is risen as all powerful!"
One of my favorite things about Orthodoxy, is our consciousness of being one church with the all those who served God before us.
During the feast that followed I drank too much. Next year I will only drink beer and wine. I do not do a good job keeping track of how much I am drinking, especially when laughing and talking and singing. Misha, if you are reading this "NO MORE BRANDY!!! EVER!!!!" Thankfully, Reader Phillip got me safely to the hotel.
I was in no shape to go to Agape Vespers. We left the hotel about noon and drove (I slept) to Santa Cruz where we had lamb at Vasili's. Then we went to the beach where Samuel learned to ride a Boogie Board. Then we went home, took showers and went to bed.
The boys still have much Paschal joy this morning. They have been eating eggs, paskha-ish slop (Our paskha cheese failed this year. I bough a different brad of farmers cheese. I think that was the problem.) and chocolate all morning. Many shouts of Christ is Risen. Basil hugs me then falls on the floor laughing every time he yells it. I think next year, and until the boys are older, we are going to skip the Saturday night service and just go to Agape Vespers on Sunday. Well, the boys and I are going to the park now.
Crist Is Risen! Indeed He Is Risen!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The Holy Spirit
Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, [that] shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. -- John 16:13
But when the Holy Spirit dwells in the heart of a person, He shows him all his inner poverty and weakness, and the corruption of his heart and soul, and his separation from God; and with all his virtues and righteousness. He shows him his sins, his sloth and indifference regarding the salvation and good of people his self-seeking in his apparently most disinterested virtues, his coarse selfishness even where he does not suspect it. To be brief, the Holy Spirit shows him everything as it really is. Then a person begins to have true humility, begins to lose hope in his own powers and virtues, regards himself as the worst of men. And when a person humbles himself before Jesus Christ Who alone is Holy in the glory of God the Father, he begins to repent truly, and resolves never again to sin but to live more carefully. And if he really has some virtues, then he sees clearly that he practiced and practices them only with the help of God, and therefore he begins to put his trust only in God. -- St. Innocent of Irkutsk
"The Lord has revealed to me," said the great elder, "that in your childhood you had a great desire to know the aim of our Christian life, and that you have continually asked many great spiritual persons about it."
I must admit, that from the age of twelve this thought had constantly troubled me. In fact, I had approached many clergy about it, however their answers had not satisfied me. This could not have been known to the elder.
"But no one,' continued St. Seraphim, 'has given you a precise answer. They have said to you: "Go to church, pray to God, do the commandments of God, do good - that is the aim of the Christian life." Some were even indignant with you for being occupied with such profane curiosity and said to you, "Do not seek things which are beyond you." But they did not speak as they should. Now humble Seraphim will explain to you of what this aim really consists.
"However prayer, fasting, vigil and all the other Christian practices may be, they do not constitute the aim of our Christian life. Although it is true that they serve as the indispensable means of reaching this end, the true aim of our Christian life consists of the acquisition of the Holy Spirit of God. As for fasts, and vigils, and prayer, and almsgiving, and every good deed done for Christ's sake, are the only means of acquiring the Holy Spirit of God. Mark my words, only good deeds done for Christ's sake brings us the fruits of the Holy Spirit. All that is not done for Christ's sake, even though it be good, brings neither reward in the future life nor the grace of God in this life. That is why our Lord Jesus Christ said: "He who does not gather with Me scatters" (Luke 11:23). Not that a good deed can be called anything but gathering, even though a deed is not done for Christ's sake, it is still considered good. The Scriptures say: "In every nation he who fears God and does what is right is acceptable to Him" (Acts 10:35).
"As we see from another sacred narrative, the man who does what is right is pleasing to God. We see the Angel of the Lord appeared at the hour of prayer to Cornelius, the God-fearing and righteous centurion, and said: "Send to Joppa to Simon the Tanner; there you will find Peter and he will tell you the words of eternal life, whereby you will be saved and all your house." Thus the Lord uses all His divine means to give such a man, in return for his good works, the opportunity not to lose his reward in the future life. But to this end, we must begin with a right faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, Who came into the world to save sinners and Who, through our acquiring for ourselves the grace of the Holy Spirit, brings into our hearts the Kingdom of God and opens the way for us to win the blessings of the future life. But the acceptability to God of good deeds not done for Christ's sake is limited to this: the Creator gives the means to make them living (cf. Hebrews. 6:1). It rests with man to make them living or not. That is why the Lord said to the Jews: "If you had been blind, you would have had no sin. But now you say 'We see,' so your sin remains" (John 9:41). If a man like Cornelius enjoys the favor of God for his deeds, though not done for Christ's sake, and then believes in His Son, such deeds will be imputed to him as done for Christ's sake. But in the opposite event a man has no right to complain, when the good he has done is useless. It never is, when it is done for Christ's sake, since good done for Him not only merits a crown of righteousness in the world to come, but also in this present life fills us with the grace of the Holy Spirit. Moreover, it is said: "God does not give the Spirit by measure" (John 3:34-35).
"That is it, your Godliness. Acquiring the Spirit of God is the true aim of our Christian life, while prayer, fasting, almsgiving and other good works done for Christ's sake are merely means for acquiring the Spirit of God." Excerpt from Nicholas Motovilov's Conversation with St. Seraphim of Sarov
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Turns out I do have a little time to post something.
I know we are supposed to be thining about what Jesus said and did between the Triumphal Entry and the Last Supper right now, but I was thinking about the darkness that fell on the earth when Jesus was crucified.
The Gospels record that when Jesus was on the cross darkness covered the sun. Every spring we can pick up popular news magazines that tell us that the darkness recorded in the Gospels must be fiction because there was no eclipse in the area of the eastern Mediterranean anywhere near the time of Jesus Crucifixion. What are we to make of this?
Well, one of the benefits of being a human being is that we have records. And we can look back in history and see what others, especially the skeptics, have said about this darkness. And just as Jesus used the silly words of the Pharisees and Saduceees to confound Pharisees and the saducees, so the words of the skeptics confound the skeptics.
One of the first people who tried to explain away the darkness that occurred during the crucifixion was a pagan Greek historian named Thallus. About A.D. 50, merely 20 years after the event Thallus wrote that there was an eclipse in the eastern Mediterranean saying that the darkness at the time of the crucifixion was just a chance coincidence. It had noting to do with the death of Jesus. It would have happened whether or not Jesus had been crucified that day.
But do you notice that Thallus does not deny the darkness? He experienced the darkness. His audience had experienced it, too, and would have laughed him to scorn if he had said that it had not happened. But the enemies of Christ must for their own comfort devalue or deny all evidence of his Divinity. Thus thallus says the darkness was merely a natural occurence.
But the ancients were not stupid. They could calculate the times and places of eclipses almost as well as modern astronomers can calculate them, and the Ancients did it thinking the sun circled the earth! One such ancient, who's words come to us through a 9th century manuscript is Julius Africanus, a Roman lawyer who lived from the middle of the first century to the later part of the second century. Julius pointed out that Thallus must have made an error because an eclipse is impossible during Passover because at Passover, as at all times of the full moon, the moon is in opposition to the sun.
So, the modern skeptics who say the darkness did not happen because there was no eclipse are wrong. Eyewitnesses, both the holy Evangelist and the pagan Christ-hater say the darkness happened. And the ancient skeptic Thallus, who admits the darkness but denies its super-natural origin is wrong, because he misstated the obvious fact that an eclipse is not possible during a full moon.
So what do we make of the darkness? What does it mean? Another ancient, our father among the saints, John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople explained it…
It is understandable that ancient skeptics blame an eclipse. It is understandable that modern skeptics say there never was any darkness at all. The unrighteous are afraid of the God who made that darkness. And the wicked are right to fear this God. But they fear Him not enough.
The Gospels record that when Jesus was on the cross darkness covered the sun. Every spring we can pick up popular news magazines that tell us that the darkness recorded in the Gospels must be fiction because there was no eclipse in the area of the eastern Mediterranean anywhere near the time of Jesus Crucifixion. What are we to make of this?
Well, one of the benefits of being a human being is that we have records. And we can look back in history and see what others, especially the skeptics, have said about this darkness. And just as Jesus used the silly words of the Pharisees and Saduceees to confound Pharisees and the saducees, so the words of the skeptics confound the skeptics.
One of the first people who tried to explain away the darkness that occurred during the crucifixion was a pagan Greek historian named Thallus. About A.D. 50, merely 20 years after the event Thallus wrote that there was an eclipse in the eastern Mediterranean saying that the darkness at the time of the crucifixion was just a chance coincidence. It had noting to do with the death of Jesus. It would have happened whether or not Jesus had been crucified that day.
But do you notice that Thallus does not deny the darkness? He experienced the darkness. His audience had experienced it, too, and would have laughed him to scorn if he had said that it had not happened. But the enemies of Christ must for their own comfort devalue or deny all evidence of his Divinity. Thus thallus says the darkness was merely a natural occurence.
But the ancients were not stupid. They could calculate the times and places of eclipses almost as well as modern astronomers can calculate them, and the Ancients did it thinking the sun circled the earth! One such ancient, who's words come to us through a 9th century manuscript is Julius Africanus, a Roman lawyer who lived from the middle of the first century to the later part of the second century. Julius pointed out that Thallus must have made an error because an eclipse is impossible during Passover because at Passover, as at all times of the full moon, the moon is in opposition to the sun.
So, the modern skeptics who say the darkness did not happen because there was no eclipse are wrong. Eyewitnesses, both the holy Evangelist and the pagan Christ-hater say the darkness happened. And the ancient skeptic Thallus, who admits the darkness but denies its super-natural origin is wrong, because he misstated the obvious fact that an eclipse is not possible during a full moon.
So what do we make of the darkness? What does it mean? Another ancient, our father among the saints, John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople explained it…
"And what is meant by the words you lied down and slumber as a lion? For as the lion is terrible not only when he is awake but even when he is sleeping, so Christ also not only before the cross but also on the cross itself and in the very moment of death was terrible, and wrought at that time great miracles, turning back the light of the sun, cleaving the rocks, shaking the earth, rending the veil, alarming the wife of Pilate, convicting Judas of sin, for then he said I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood; and the wife of Pilate declared Have nothing to do with that just man, for I have suffered many things in a dream because of Him. The darkness took possession of the earth, and night appeared at midday, then death was brought to nought, and his tyranny was destroyed: many bodies at least of the saints which slept arose. These things the patriarch declaring beforehand, and demonstrating that, even when crucified, Christ would be terrible, said you lied down and slumber as a lion."
It is understandable that ancient skeptics blame an eclipse. It is understandable that modern skeptics say there never was any darkness at all. The unrighteous are afraid of the God who made that darkness. And the wicked are right to fear this God. But they fear Him not enough.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Lazarus Saturdy/Palm Sunday/Holy Week
Lazarus Saturday we visited my goddaughters and their parents in SF who live on the Great Highway and thus have a fabulous view of the Pacific Ocean. We had caviar and champagne and vodka in honor of the resurrection of St. Lazarus. We had a great time and even found a store right around the block from where they live that sells kulich. This last item is very important because the fire from a few weeks ago destroyed our oven and we haven't had it replaced. Which means we were kind of in a bind for Pascha.
Palm Sunday was great. I think if the parish grows anymore we are going to have to utilize the balcony. It was originally built for the choir, but the choir doesn't like it up there so they near the north deacon door. There was another baptism on Sunday. (Many years to the newly illumined Stephen!) It is pretty amazing to me that we have this growth without a parking lot. The service itself was what Orthodox services always are, beautiful and true. I rarely weep during the services but when I heard the troparion I became a flood. I don't know why it hit me like tat this year, it never has before. Maybe because I miss my parents and can hardly wait to see them again. After the service we ate salmon together. The same kind woman makes it every year.
Well, it is holy week. This will be my last post until Pacha. Have a good week. Make a good confession if you haven't already. I'll see you on the other side.
Palm Sunday was great. I think if the parish grows anymore we are going to have to utilize the balcony. It was originally built for the choir, but the choir doesn't like it up there so they near the north deacon door. There was another baptism on Sunday. (Many years to the newly illumined Stephen!) It is pretty amazing to me that we have this growth without a parking lot. The service itself was what Orthodox services always are, beautiful and true. I rarely weep during the services but when I heard the troparion I became a flood. I don't know why it hit me like tat this year, it never has before. Maybe because I miss my parents and can hardly wait to see them again. After the service we ate salmon together. The same kind woman makes it every year.
Well, it is holy week. This will be my last post until Pacha. Have a good week. Make a good confession if you haven't already. I'll see you on the other side.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Church Music
I am told that my nephew asked his dad why I became Orthodox, and received for an answer, "He has always been Orthodox". When I first heard about that conversation I thought it was a strange answer, but this Get Religion article about church music helps me understand the anser my brother-in-law gave to my nephew.
I never liked very much the hymns sung in the church of my Dad's denomination. As a rule, the songs were very "me" oriented and were in 4/4 time played in a honky tonk/bluegrass/CW style (it varried according to region). Typical of the style is the song Joy Unspeakable. It is telling how many times the word "I" is used. To be fair there were exceptions to this rule. There were songs of profound and sublime theology. I have in mind one song in particular: Are you Washed in the Blood, which is a condensation of much of St. Paul's teaching. But that was an exception.
At the church co-astored by my brother and my brother I heard different songs. For the most part it was casual 70s/80s style, west-coast, Chuck Smith, Jesus-People, Calvinist influenced church. As a kid I really liked the doughnuts and coffee served between the singing and the preaching. And, as I said I heard different songs. Two that stand out in my memory are I Will Celebrate by Maranatha Music (they sang a lot of songs by Maranatha Music) and the 18th century beauty All Hail the Power of Jesus Name. Both of these songs were sung often. They were both different from what I sang in my Dad's church. One was newer. One was much older. And, though the newer song was more fun, I was deeply moved by the older song with its doxological, eschatological and telological emphases. As far as I can tell, the Protestant movement never has produced a song that is equal to it.
It is the last line that is the best. If you haven't clicked on the link above look at them here...
Let every tribe and every tongue before Him prostrate fall
And shout in universal song the crownèd Lord of all.
And shout in universal song the crownèd Lord of all.
And this is, I think, what my brother-in-law saw that made him say to my nephew, who is merely three years my junior, that I have always been Orthodox. For it is this vision of what it means to be a human being, prostrate and worshiping, that is the heart of what it means to be an Orthodox Christian.
It is my hope that I can live up to it. Lent has been full of activity that distracts from Lent. I am sure Holy Week will be the same. Thankfully, there is heaven to look forward to. And it will be heaven because finally, if I make it, I will be able to do what I was made for, without distraction.
I never liked very much the hymns sung in the church of my Dad's denomination. As a rule, the songs were very "me" oriented and were in 4/4 time played in a honky tonk/bluegrass/CW style (it varried according to region). Typical of the style is the song Joy Unspeakable. It is telling how many times the word "I" is used. To be fair there were exceptions to this rule. There were songs of profound and sublime theology. I have in mind one song in particular: Are you Washed in the Blood, which is a condensation of much of St. Paul's teaching. But that was an exception.
At the church co-astored by my brother and my brother I heard different songs. For the most part it was casual 70s/80s style, west-coast, Chuck Smith, Jesus-People, Calvinist influenced church. As a kid I really liked the doughnuts and coffee served between the singing and the preaching. And, as I said I heard different songs. Two that stand out in my memory are I Will Celebrate by Maranatha Music (they sang a lot of songs by Maranatha Music) and the 18th century beauty All Hail the Power of Jesus Name. Both of these songs were sung often. They were both different from what I sang in my Dad's church. One was newer. One was much older. And, though the newer song was more fun, I was deeply moved by the older song with its doxological, eschatological and telological emphases. As far as I can tell, the Protestant movement never has produced a song that is equal to it.
It is the last line that is the best. If you haven't clicked on the link above look at them here...
Let every tribe and every tongue before Him prostrate fall
And shout in universal song the crownèd Lord of all.
And shout in universal song the crownèd Lord of all.
And this is, I think, what my brother-in-law saw that made him say to my nephew, who is merely three years my junior, that I have always been Orthodox. For it is this vision of what it means to be a human being, prostrate and worshiping, that is the heart of what it means to be an Orthodox Christian.
It is my hope that I can live up to it. Lent has been full of activity that distracts from Lent. I am sure Holy Week will be the same. Thankfully, there is heaven to look forward to. And it will be heaven because finally, if I make it, I will be able to do what I was made for, without distraction.
Monday, April 14, 2008
General Confession
I've never seen this done. I am guessing it must be reserved foremrgency situations, such as when a ship is sinking, or when thousands of soldiers are about to go into battle; both being times when a priest doesn't have time to hear all the confessions. This allowance is so beautiful, and does much to show the heart of God and the Orthodox Church, which is full of mercy.
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(The priest now turns and faces the people. He gives to them the following instruction concerning general confession:)
PRIEST: Behold, my children, Christ stands here invisibly receiving our confession. We should not be afraid or ashamed, and we should not try to conceal anything from Him. But having no doubts at all, we should confess all that we have done so that we may receive forgiveness from our Lord Jesus Christ.
Behold, His holy Image is before us! This evening, I am acting on all our behalf, bearing testimony before Him of all the ways in which we have indeed transgressed His Holy and Divine Will. If any sins, because of their multitude, are omitted in this general confession, which you have committed and which rest greatly on your conscience, confess these sins before you express your sorrow and ask for absolution.
Should we try to conceal any sin in this general confession, we will commit even a greater sin. Therefore, let us take heed, lest having come to the Physician, we leave unhealed.
The priest, still facing the people, kneels. The people also kneel After a moment of meditation, the priest begins the general confession of sins. (The confession of our Father among the Saints, Dimitri of Rostov, is used as a guide.)
O God, cleanse me a sinner, and have mercy on me. (3 times)
I confess to You, O Lord, my God, all of my countless sins committed by myself to this very day and even to this very hour, in deed, in word and in thought. I have sinned daily and hourly by my ingratitude toward You for Your great and countless blessings and for Your benevolent providence over me, a sinner.
I have sinned through; idle talking, judging others, stubbornness, pride, hard-heartedness, envy, anger, slander, inattention, negligence concerning my salvation, carelessness, indifference, impertinence, irritability, despondency, rendering evil for evil, bitterness, disobedience, complaining, self-justification, contradicting others, self-will, being accusing, gossiping, lying, light-mindedness, tempting others, self-love, ambition, eating and drinking to excess, vanity, laziness, entertaining unclean thoughts, acquisitiveness, impure glances, absence from divine services because of laziness and carelessness, absentmindedness at prayer both in church and at home.
(Here one should mention any other specific sins which may be burdening the soul)
I have sinned in deed, word, thought; in sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch and the rest of my mental and physical senses; of all my sins I repent and beg forgiveness.
I also repent and ask forgiveness for all those sins that I have not confessed because of their multitude and my forgetfulness.
Forgive and absolve me, heavenly Father, and bless me to commune of the holy and life-creating Mysteries of Christ unto the remission of my sins and life everlasting.
The priest and people stand. The priest proceeds to the Center Table where the people come forward to express their sorrow and receive absolution.
PRIEST: May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and bounties of His love toward mankind, forgive you, my child (NAME) all your transgressions. And I, His unworthy priest, through the power given to me by Him, do forgive and absolve you from all your sins in the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
PRIEST: May Christ our true God, through the prayers of His most holy Mother and of all the Saints, have mercy on us and save us, for He is gracious and loves mankind.
PEOPLE: Amen.
PRIEST: Through the prayers of our holy Fathers, O Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on us.
PEOPLE: Amen. Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.
(The General Confession is completed The people, who had participated in the confession, prepare for the Sacrament of Holy Communion by reading the Prayers of Preparation and observing the fasting regulations.)
Friday, April 11, 2008
The Bad News Was New Again
My son Basil was only 1 year old when my father died. He is 2 1/2 now. Today he asked me,"Where is my gradfather?" I said "your Papa died." Basil was very sad and repeated several times "My Papa is dead?" Every time he said it I wanted to die, too. I know He said that sighing and mourning will flee away but i wish the King would be a little bit faster.
I don't know "scoop". Tell me, what is this "scoop"?
"Kellogg’s Raisin Bran comes in 15-, 20-, and 25.5-ounce boxes, all of which bear the “Two scoops!” claim. This observation suggests two alternative hypotheses:
(A) Scoop size is independent of box size. In other words, the same scoops are used to add raisins to each box, regardless of box size, so that the number of raisins per box is constant.
(B) Scoop size is proportional to box size. In other words, larger scoops are used for the larger boxes so that the number of raisins per ounce of cereal remains constant."
This is a fascinating application of scientific reasoning. Read the whole article here.
Schema
The Orthodox Church does not have different orders of monastics as other church do. We do not have Franciscans, Benedictines, Augustinians, etc. Each having its own rule. Ordinarily, the rule of prayer and life most Orthodox monks follow is that laid out by St. Basil the Great. Though we do not have not have different orders of monks following different prayer rules, Orthodox Christian monks do have ranks, the highest of which is the Great Schema. These schema monks are kind of like the superheroes of prayer.
I have only witnessed one miracle since become Orthodox, and it involved one of these schema monks. I had just entered a church and a schmamonk entered the church through a different door. He was old, stooped over a cain. And I was afraid of him. He looked right through me all the way to my heart and I could feel him knowing me. But he felt sorry for me. Then the miracle happened. He came to me, but he did not walk. He floated to me. Yes, I mean there was air between his feet and the floor. We talked briefly and even though he saw my black heart he made me welcome.
I don't imagine all schemamonks float instead of walk, but they all live a life of concentrated prayer and asceticism. You can read more about them here. Oh, I think the picture above is actually a schemanun, not a schemamonk. In Orthodoxy, monks and nuns live the same life.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
This Day
We have had a pretty good day. The boys and I went on a long walk and picked fruit from the tress along the roads. Right now the loquats are ripe. They were a new experience for Anselm and Basil. Later the plums and figs will be ripe. I love living in California.
At the end of the street we found to old tire. The boys took turns sitting in it and I pushed them around. It scared Basil, but Anselm loved it.
As a goal for lent I've been trying something new this year. In the past we've bought "fast foods" that were pretty extravagant. But this year we aren't buying a lot of crabs scallops and shrimp. But today I was just kind of sick of bagels and peanut butter. And guess what? While looking in the freeser I found a bag of frozen scallops, shrimp and calamari left there from last Nativity Fast!!! Well, I had a bunch of spring garlic, some wilted leeks, two cans of tomato sauce, and a bay leaf. Basil and I chopped the herbs, and made a sauce. I found some frozen mushrooms and threw them in, too. Then the seafood. I had a old bag of linguini. Boiled that up. When Anslem saw what we made he got very excited. "I love pasta! I love calamari!"
It makes me happy to make food the boys enjoy.
Tomorrow, I guess its back to day old bagels and peanut butter.
At the end of the street we found to old tire. The boys took turns sitting in it and I pushed them around. It scared Basil, but Anselm loved it.
As a goal for lent I've been trying something new this year. In the past we've bought "fast foods" that were pretty extravagant. But this year we aren't buying a lot of crabs scallops and shrimp. But today I was just kind of sick of bagels and peanut butter. And guess what? While looking in the freeser I found a bag of frozen scallops, shrimp and calamari left there from last Nativity Fast!!! Well, I had a bunch of spring garlic, some wilted leeks, two cans of tomato sauce, and a bay leaf. Basil and I chopped the herbs, and made a sauce. I found some frozen mushrooms and threw them in, too. Then the seafood. I had a old bag of linguini. Boiled that up. When Anslem saw what we made he got very excited. "I love pasta! I love calamari!"
It makes me happy to make food the boys enjoy.
Tomorrow, I guess its back to day old bagels and peanut butter.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Heston is Dead
Charlton Heston is dead. I know many people remember him for many different things. Persoally, I will always remember the chariot race and this speech delivered at Harvard University in 1999.
Reading the Bible
I find some of the best stuff on the official websites of our Church. This snippet below is from the OCA website, but I have found equally wonderful stuff on the websites of the GOA and the SRAOCANA
“If an earthly king, our emperor,” wrote Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk (1724-¬83), “wrote you a letter, would you not read it with joy? Certainly, with great rejoicing and careful attention.” But what, he asks, is our attitude toward the letter that has been addressed to us by no one less than God Himself? “You have been sent a letter, not by any earthly emperor, but by the King of Heaven. And yet you almost despise such a gift, so priceless a treasure.” To open and read this letter, Saint Tikhon adds, is to enter into a personal conversation face-to-face with the living God. “Whenever you read the Gospel, Christ Him¬self is speaking to you. And while you read; you are praying and talking to Him.”
Such exactly is our Orthodox attitude to the reading of Scripture. I am to see the Bible as God’s personal letter sent specifically to myself. The words are not intended merely for others, far away and long ago, but they are written particularly and directly to me, here and now. Whenever we open our Bible, we are engaging in a creative dialogue with the Savior. In listening, we also respond. “Speak, for Your servant hears,” we reply to God as we read (1 Sam. 3:10); “Here am I” (Is. 6:8). (Read the whole thing here.)
Saturday, April 05, 2008
The Rose: Saturday Soundtrack
As you might remember from the first post of this series, The latter bookend is supposed to be the realsea of the movie "Staying Alive" because that marks a radicalchange in American popular music. But there is a song which, I think, harkens back to the early seventies, though came out after the BeeGees and Donna Summer changed radio.
I never saw the movie. I've never been to her concerts. But I remember being a kid and being totally enthralled by the ads for the movie. And, also as a kid, I,for some reason,thought Bette Middler, whom I had never seen nor heard, must have been very sophisticated. Don't ask me why. Can't answer for the opinions of the boy I used to be; fairly certain I've never seen her perform in movies,on television, or on stage.
Well, this is the song from the movie, the ad for which sent chills down the arms of a 10 year old boy. And the song is so easy to sing along with.
I never saw the movie. I've never been to her concerts. But I remember being a kid and being totally enthralled by the ads for the movie. And, also as a kid, I,for some reason,thought Bette Middler, whom I had never seen nor heard, must have been very sophisticated. Don't ask me why. Can't answer for the opinions of the boy I used to be; fairly certain I've never seen her perform in movies,on television, or on stage.
Well, this is the song from the movie, the ad for which sent chills down the arms of a 10 year old boy. And the song is so easy to sing along with.
School Sucks
I have missed almost every service this lent. I have tons of work around the house I have to get done. I am only getting 4 to 6 hours sleep per night. The boys are neglected. And I am buried under a mountain of homework with an original research project due. All I want to do is go to church tonight and I can't figure out how to make it happen and get my homework done. Am I going to have another Holy Week during which I miss all the services but one?
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
An Orthodox (Coptic) Priest on Arabic TV is Doing Great Work.
"But the ultimate reason for Botros’s success is that — unlike his Western counterparts who criticize Islam from a political standpoint — his primary interest is the salvation of souls. He often begins and concludes his programs by stating that he loves all Muslims as fellow humans and wants to steer them away from falsehood to Truth. To that end, he doesn’t just expose troubling aspects of Islam. Before concluding every program, he quotes pertinent biblical verses and invites all his viewers to come to Christ." (Read Whole Article Here.)
As he is in the spotlight and has a price on his head,let's remember to pray for him.
Is This Good News or Bad News?
I like squid, but I also like fish. It sounds like if these things stick around for very long we won't have many fish left in California's waters.
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